My husband is cute. Physically, verbally, romantically. He’s also delightfully ignorant of many common expressions. My son and I love to recite movie quotes when joking around or making an insider reference. When we mention something is so good it goes all the way to eleven (Spinal Tap reference), my husband looks at me with confusion. “Eleven what?” “Never… Read More
Slow Cooker Mornings…
Even Minnesota, that great “fly over” state most people not from here equate to the movie, Fargo, has been searingly hot. A slow and lengthy stretch of days in the upper nineties has shocked us to the point of muttering “uffda,” and meaning it. With days this hot it is hard to feel motivated to get outside and do… Read More
Hot women…
Hot women… Tiny beads of water ran down the pitcher and pooled on the table. I knew that. I saw that. And yet, when I picked up the pitcher to pour a glass of mint-infused lemonade, a generous amount of condensation landed on my shirt and erased the polished look I was going for. Wet… Read More
Respect…
Stepping off the whitewashed fence post was always thrilling. As a girl, I loved to test my focus and balance by walking on top the board fences that outlined my family’s farm. The first few steps were usually the easiest because the board was securely anchored to the fencepost and therefore didn’t wobble much. As I made my way towards… Read More
Animal Dreams and Realities…
The black stallion beneath me tossed his head and gazed over the rocky outcropping. Forty feet below a shallow pool of water glittered with pink and orange diamonds reflecting from the fading sunset. At least from my vantage the water appeared to be shallow. My daughter and son, only three and seven respectively, watched from a safe distance with little… Read More
Chick Weekend…
“According to MapQuest Panera Bread should be right here.” My daughter slowed her Subaru and we looked to our right. We looked to our left. No Panera Bread. I grabbed my GPS unit and punched in the address. The assured female voice of the GPS told us to turn, to turn, to turn. We did. Walla. We were right back… Read More
Remembering the spontaneity…
My husband was making noises in the bathroom that filtered through my consciousness and caused me to wake. No, not those kind of noises, these were the sounds of a man tapping his three-bladed razor on the sink edge while a trickle of water splashed into the basin. Let’s see, morning + husband getting ready for work = a… Read More
Speeding through my memories…
The police vehicle was perched on the side of the road like a cat about to pounce. Immediately I did what every red-blooded American does…I glanced at my speedometer because I had no clue how fast I had been driving. Dang, dang, dang. I was doing about sixty-three in a fifty-five mile per hour stretch of road. I looked into… Read More
Twinkle toes in the twilight years…
Dianne had a certain look in her eye. She’d been shepherding and essentially babysitting our group around Tibet for two weeks, and as a result we had effectively managed to fray her last nerve. Our location at the time was Kangding, a surprisingly large city located in a valley of the Tibetan Plateau. Dianne put her hands on her hips…. Read More
Driving Emotions…
If cars could have leprosy my daughter’s car, lovingly known as “Chip,” has had it for the past ten or twelve years. Chip is a 1996 Chevy Corsica. Poor Chip had one of those unfortunate paint jobs where the primer didn’t do what it was supposed to do, and the paint sloughed off over time. (By the way, shame on GM… Read More
Man Speak…
The man stepped down from his truck cab, lifted his baseball cap, and scratched his forehead. Huh. How was he going to squeeze a very large septic-pumping truck through an very small space? Let me explain … Several days prior to the septic truck’s arrival on our yard, my husband borrowed my ex-husband’s trailer. What has one to do with… Read More
Wisdom words…
The word, “Amen,” came immediately to mind. Last week a friend sent me a forward that I thought was too good to let fade away. I’ve already sent it on to many of my friends, but wanted to post it here as well. Part of aging successfully is staying aware of politics. It is not a subject most love to… Read More
Soul laughter…
The minister was scrolling through his iPad to find the next portion of the Sunday service. As an old-school Lutheran hearing sermons thundering from technology’s prompts makes me tilt my head and wondering where we are headed in the future. Will we have a chip inserted under our skin that will infuse our brains with lectures on moral behavior? Will… Read More
It’s not always apparent on how best to be a parent…
I was lucky enough to be raised by parents who mostly withheld their opinions unless asked. As a child it was different of course, and lessons concerning right and wrong occurred on a daily bases. “Share with each other!” “Stop teasing your brother.” “Play fair.” “Take all you want to eat, but eat all you take.” “Don’t waste.” “Respect your… Read More
Mirror, mirror, episode 341…
This morning a classmate sent out a web address relating to a woman named Samantha Brick. Samantha laments her life because she is too beautiful. Other women cannot relate to her, and men swarm all over themselves to catch her attention. Here is the web address if you’d like to read her story directly: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html In my sex and gender… Read More
Density and Me…
As a great cartoon character once said, “Doh!” Okay, maybe he said it about a couple of zillion times, but that lends strength and recognition to the outcry. The past few weeks I’ve been feeling layers of emotions as my college semester winds down. There’s the joy of learning, and while that may sound like a suck-up statement, I’m serious…. Read More
Patterns…
The glossy stack of magazines beckoned. I was in the reception area of a nutritional clinic waiting for my husband to finish his appointment, and time was dragging. My hands held a thick collection of required reading for one of my college classes. The content was littered with academic speak so dry and creatively parched that I had to wet… Read More
The technology of beauty…
“Cate Blanchett goes sans Photoshop for magazine cover,” the headline read. I don’t know if the link will carry over but here it is if you want to read the story without my musings: http://thelook.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/21/10796953-cate-blanchett-goes-sans-photoshop-for-magazine-cover. I love stories like hers for a number of reasons: 1. That this is something so unusual it gets a story. 2. That at the… Read More
The rear view mirror…
“Many of us have our memories of being sort of shut out of gyms and playgrounds and whatever. But back then, we didn’t really grumble about it. Like an awful lot of things that happened to young women at the time, that was just the way it was. We hadn’t gotten to the point where we started complaining that maybe… Read More
One for the rages…
“Marriage accustomed one to the good things, so one came to take them for granted, but magnified the bad things, so they came to feel as painful as a grain in one’s eye. An open window, a forgotten quart of milk, a TV set left blaring, socks on the bathroom floor could become occasions for incredible rage. And something happened… Read More
Crushed by love…
I could feel the tufted white satin lining as my fingers searched for an opening, searched for a chance to escape. Nothing made sense. It was so dark I’d lost my bearings. Was I right side up or face down? My balance said I was slightly vertical, but that didn’t seem possible. Kicking and screaming served no purpose other than… Read More
Leg go already!
Angelina Jolie approaches the microphone, juts out her hip, and poses her leg through the thigh-high slit of her black velvet evening gown. My husband gives an appreciative sigh. “I like her dress,” he said with a glazed expression and just a hint of drool. Truth be told, I liked it too. Although she seems concerningly thin these days, Angelina… Read More
Into thin air…
The boar-bristled brush grumbled through the mess known as my hair with a minimum of pain on this bed-head morning. Looking at myself in the mirror with a resigned shrug, I pulled the somewhat tamed tresses into a haphazard ponytail and called it good enough. A little lipstick, a caress of brown eye-shadow, and a dusting of powder on my… Read More
A head start on childhood, one cuff at a time…
The exasperated father turns to his adult sons and says, “Fine. Because I retired today, the two of you can physically wrestle here and now for the company and for the house. Winner takes all.” The mother, listening in disbelief, snorts her disapproval because she wants both privileged sons—who are living at home and unemployed—to take the reins of the… Read More
A gift worth returning…
In the syndicated cartoon “Zits” by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman the challenges of raising a teenage son in modern society echoes the challenges of generations past. Be it a room so messy the closet and bed are lost in the clutter, responsibility side-steps, or bewildering social behaviors, parents and child continue to grow within the relationship. Once in awhile… Read More
Memories Cast in Iron…
It’s only about six inches across, and has the blackened bumpy texture only decades of use creates. If needed, it can make a delectable hot breakfast or be wielded as a formidable weapon. (I’m just guessing on the weapon thing in case you were wondering. Honest.) The heft of the old cast iron frying pan requires respect when handling…not unlike… Read More
Sharp stilettos, sharper tongues…
Just saying the word “stiletto” brings to mind all things wanton and sexy. It sort of hisses off the tongue and ends with the “ooooo” of a kissing pucker. Even a good girl can teeter on the brink of naughty when she puts on a pair of stiletto shoes or boots. Think of it as attitude by the foot. Yesterday… Read More
Heart to say…
The woman, crying, approached my car with a sense of urgency. I was grid-locked in the midst of mass exodus as students fled from an evening’s worth of classes. The college parking lot was emptying slowly, so I thought the distressed woman may have been having car troubles. As I rolled down my window the woman began a quick monologue… Read More
My father’s foot note…
Using his left hand he gently pried his right—frozen in a semi-claw shape due to the stroke– from the handle of the walker. I tried not to cringe. My dad had always been an iron man, the embodiment of strength and virility, and to see him this way hurt me as much as I knew it hurt him to be… Read More
Child’s play…
“In the photograph I’m shown wearing a diaper and that’s about it. My older sister is topless as well. I’m about two years old and holding a lit Fourth of July sparkler. I vaguely remember burning my hand and having my grandmother stick it in her gin and tonic to cool it down.” – college classmate The other night in… Read More
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