My watch, flung off earlier, looked discarded and limp on the kitchen table. I didnt even recall taking it off when I arrived home. There are people who like a relaxed approach to life, and those who like structure. I tend to be in the structure group. For many years, I lived by the clockalways watching, always racing. My single-mother years meant carefully juggling activities based on my childrens needs and wants, work, and scraps of personal time. As a dental assistant I liked working against the clock because there was an emotional rush when we stayed on time and had happy patients. After I left dental assisting and returned to college it was an uncomfortable adjustment to organize my time in different ways. The clock still worked against me in many waysbooks to read, papers to write, timing the commute to and from classesbut I began to view time in hours and not ten minute dental units. The feeling of achievement didnt come as quickly, and I doubted my forward movement.
It is a constant tug-of-war for me to find time balance. Im in a great phase of life, and yet I cannot relax. The fear of letting others down, if I dont keep moving, is intense. Yet, if Im honest in describing my behavior, I seem to be the only one cracking the whip. When I saw my watch on the table this morning it was a gentle reminder that at least my subconscious is telling me to stop and breathe. What purpose am I serving myself, or others, if I rush through everything? My goal for today is to leave the watch on the table and live a bit more free. I bet it will be a great dayand it is about time. Not!
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Don’t be taken by surprise and get yourself out of the system before the powers that be legalise stealing everything from under our feet.