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You are here: Home / Musings About Aging / Leaf It To Me To Adore Imperfections

Leaf It To Me To Adore Imperfections

September 12, 2019 By Gail 2 Comments

 

“Imperfection inspires invention, imagination, creativity. It stimulates. The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive.”
― Jhumpa Lahiri

agingschmaging

Daylight had mostly given up. No matter. I pulled up my inadequate hoodie, hunched into the rain, and kept my head down. Funny where you find gifts.

As I walked, I noticed how lovely the fallen leaves looked spattered against the dark pavement. The low lighting gave their colors an eerie glow, and the wetness added a glittery sheen.

agingschmaging half hearted

Half-hearted

There was a time I would look for perfect specimens…the maple leaves with the deepest reds or most outrageous oranges. The oak leaves with shiny burgundy hues and dark brown veins. Perhaps even a yellow birch leaf with a delicate ruffled edge. I disregarded any with perceived flaws because, well, I believed irregularities were “less than.”

Now I know better. And surprisingly, an early lesson about the bliss of imperfections came from a man I barely knew. His name is Russell Monk. (RussellMonk.com)

agingschmaging russell monk

Russell Monk

Some years ago, I was lucky enough to go on a photographic tour of China and Tibet. Russell was the professional photographer traveling with our group and quickly had me wishing to improve my skills. Awesomeness is like that, and Russell’s eye for imagery and storytelling is incredible.

I tried to absorb the ease in which he instinctively knew how to capture the essence of people and places, but felt shy and nervous.  His advice to me was to shoot, shoot, shoot. Develop a “voice,” and for heaven’s sake, stop being so timid about going after a shot.

Russell also famously said, and I quote, “We are in CHINA. Why can’t I get a f**k’n proper cup of tea?” I still smirk about that comment and other Russell-isms, liberally sprinkled with f-bombs, from that trip. But I digress.

agingschmaging

Russell, the poster boy for adventure

One day I happened to be sitting next to Russell as our van traveled along. He thrust a magazine in my face and said, “Look at the young woman on the cover!”

Me (once I could back my head far enough away to see): “What about her?” I shrugged. She was young, flawless, and everything our American culture values.

Russell (exasperated): “They have airbrushed everything interesting off of her. She is blank. There is absolutely nothing to draw in the viewer. Where is her uniqueness? Where is her character?”

I studied his face. Was he kidding? Don’t men crave the fantasy of unblemished feminine perfection? Had he not read his share of Playboy magazines and the male-constructed female ideal?

I don’t know.

What I clearly saw in Russell’s eyes was disappointment. He was serious. He, as an incredible portraitist, revels in what people feel they need to hide. And loathe. And apologize for. Russell sees the wonder of experiences and humanness and celebrates it all in his images.

And at that moment I felt a seismic shift in how I viewed people, places, and things, too.

Russell was/is oh-so-spot-on. The dimples, scars, freckles, wrinkles, jiggles, lopsided grins, crooked teeth, and mismatched anything and everything are epic-ly more intriguing in people than not.

I now study the ruins of a building with excitement. I view the patina of something used and “over-loved” with fascination. And yes, I look for wet autumn leaves that are worn, shredded, gnawed-upon, and infinitely beautiful because of the day to day ravages.

Thank you, Russell. I hope you never stop capturing life behind– and in front of–the lens, and that you have found that f**k’n proper cup of tea.

Here are a few imperfect photos, un-enhanced, un-posed, from my walk. (Taken with the iPhone):

agingschmaging black heart

The black heart

agingschmaging may december romance

May-December Romance

agingschmaging bug eaten

Bug-eaten lace

agingschmaging caregiver

The Caregiver

agingschmaging always one

Acorn Photo-bomb

agingschmaging

Sweating the small stuff

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Filed Under: Musings About Aging Tagged With: fall leaves, imperfection, Russell Monk

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A Message From Gail

Through my blog and website, I hope to share beauty, laughter, inspiration, aging & midlife lessons and advice on dealing with menopause. I will also devote time to integrative health and healing tips and news. I want feedback and questions because, while we may be sharing the journey, every woman has her own experience and her own story.

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Comments

  1. Ann Tanko says

    September 16, 2019 at 5:46 pm

    It is so true. Our imperfections say so much more about our journeys than a edited version. Like gray hair, we have earned them all. A lovely post on your blog

    Reply
    • Avatar photoGail says

      September 18, 2019 at 8:54 pm

      I appreciate that, Ann, and I appreciate you. I adore the way you face life with grace and wisdom.

      Reply

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