I subscribe to an e-letter from Noah Kagan called OkDork. He sends out offers for discounted apps that can possibly make life easier, or at least your work easier if you are a techie. Iâ€™m not sure I even want to be a techie as I’m ok with limping along on my feeble old-school skills, but I like to window-shop his finds.
In addition to his offers and personal stories of reaching for success, he will often post interesting challenges, perspectives, and thoughtful content. This past week he sent a post called â€œAre things happening to you, or are you making things happen?â€
As a middle-aged woman, I found his words coming at a time I needed them. My friend, Claudia, and I often discuss our similar upbringings, which included the desire to be good girls. Pleasing others trumped going for what we wanted. Good girls didnâ€™t eat too much, get dirty, talk dirty, or dress inappropriately. Claudia and I did, at times, sneaky things once past adult eyesâ€¦like changing into clothes non-adult approved before going to schoolâ€¦but nothing big and bad. Now that we are adults in the second half of life we are slowly, slowly, letting go of some of the conditioning that kept us on the gold star list of old.
That said, Noahâ€™s post pushed me to think about how often I still unconsciously seek permission instead of getting on with doing what I want. He mentions a friend of his who, instead of waiting for his ever-thinning hair to go, has begun shaving his head. A friend of ours did that too. It took a little getting used to, but even then I admired his choice to shave it off rather than attempting comb overs or the worldâ€™s largest supply of baseball caps.
In two other examples Noah mentions people who wanted housing in a specific area, but couldnâ€™t find anything available. Instead of hoping and waiting, these people wrote letters saying why they wanted to live there, what they would pay, and so on, and delivered them to the specific addresses they wanted. Guess what? In each case the person(s) found a seller and have moved to their desired location. I love that!
I have a list of goals and am working towards achieving them, or at least I thought so. With Noahâ€™s post as incentive, Iâ€™m asking myself hard questions. Why am I waiting for this or that instead of pursuing what I want? Why am I allowing fear of failure to make me cautious instead of bold? What do I really want, and if so, why arenâ€™t I running towards getting it?
How about you? Are you making your own luck, or are you waiting for it to come to you?