Hi Beloved Readers,
It’s a super busy week for me so rather than not post a blog I went into the archives and decided to re-post one that contains:
- Sex. Sort of. Well not really.
- A nervous husband.
- A deep psychological study of why women like sex toys and sex shops.*
When Our Naughty Bits Need Attention: The Anticipation Of
An Aging But Dangerous Couple’s Night Event At The Smitten Kitten
I pushed my iPad calendar in front of my husband’s face. “Check out June 14th.”
He squinted a bit and then read out loud, “Good Sex.” His eyebrow rose just a little, and I knew I definitely, positively, had his attention. The word sex had been uttered. Sex always equals good stuff. Sex, sex, sex. His pupils were dilating.
“Yep,” I said. “Wanna do it with me?”
“Anytime, Baby! Anytime.” He paused. “Waaaaait. I don’t understand. We’re scheduling our um, canoodling, these days?”
I laughed, put my hands on his face, and explained. “Aging But Dangerous (agingbutdangerous.com) is holding an event at the Smitten Kitten called ‘Good Sex—It Takes Two To Tango,’ and I’d like you to go with me.”
A furrowed brow now accompanied that raised eyebrow of his.
“Just to be clear…you’re saying you want me to go with you to a sex shop filled with devices, dangerous aging women, and conversations about sex?”
“Mmm hmm. Sounds wicked fun, right? Education about the good stuff.”
He sat back in his chair. I could see the storm of thoughts raging in his eyes. We’ve been together long enough for me to guess his bullet point list of questions. He is a Virgo, and they like things orderly:
Would there be other men in attendance?
- Did those men want to be there, or was this about supporting their crazy, what-mischief-can-we-get-into-next, partners?
- Would he be expected to say anything?
- Would the others in attendance wonder if he wasn’t “manning up and in need of pills, devices, and mini cranes?”
- Would he feel embarrassed when the Smitten Kitten staff started talking about vibrators, colorful jiggly toys, lubricants, and other stuff he would prefer show up in a plain brown box at our front door?
- Would he feel uncomfortable when the attendees started getting into the minutia of their love lives? Would he put his hands to his ears and utter, “La la la la la,” until they stopped?
- What if he LIKED being in a sex shop talking about sex but didn’t want to seem like he liked it?
- Could there possibly be enough wine at the event to make this work?
- Would this event be trench coat optional?
A few moments passed. The storm clouds abated and his eyes refocused on mine. “Sure, I’ll go with you.”
“Great, Sweetie! I’ll introduce you to Jean and Suzanne, the founders of Aging But Dangerous, and to Pat who has been so kind, and to…”
“I have a couple questions,” he said.
“The last time you went you ended up sitting by the cock rings. Is that required?”
“Nope. Unless you would prefer…”
He waved his hands in the air like he was erasing a chalkboard.
“I’m good. How open are the women? How much do they share?”
Okay, that was a tough one. It would entirely depend on who was there and what inspiration came out of the conversations. It could get intimate because Aging But Dangerous women make it safe to ask pretty much anything. We all want to learn, to laugh, and to make this second half of life dangerously delicious.
“Ummm. You’ll be fine.” I had my fingers crossed behind my back.
“One last question. Can you change the calendar to say “Great Sex, instead of good?”
Aww. That’s my guy.
*Totally not true.