I’ve had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.”
On a recent spring night, a rare one in which the sun was in attendance, a group of artists gathered. Me, being me, grabbed a drink and tried to slink off into a corner. I love artists; I don’t enjoy starting or upholding conversations, ya know, with strangers. Observing from a distance is supportive, too, right? And what about that song, The Sounds Of Silence? I can be oh-so-silent.
And oh-so-good about justifying my behavior.
Nonetheless, Cathy, a favorite local artist of mine, spotted me cowering and came over. She tends to have a gleam in her eye no matter the event, and a great smile.
Our small talk turned to the long winter and why neither of us was smart enough to escape to warmer climates. And then somehow we leaped into swimsuits.Not literally, of course.
Heavens. Freak’n. No.
The question on the table was how we felt about wearing swimsuits. I admitted that in November, while on a cruise, my husband had coaxed me into wearing a swimsuit. We wanted to use one of the ship’s hot tubs, however, the hot tubs/whirlpools sit in the middle of a very busy deck.
People + Me in a swimsuit= panic.
I put on the thickest of robes to cover my swimsuit-clad body and did my best to expose the least amount of skin while entering the hot water. Once in the whirlpool I sank to chest level and stayed there.
As scary as it was for me to wear a swimsuit in public, the reality was that nobody even looked in our direction. The other folks were busy playing games, working on their suntans, and enjoying cocktails. I was not even a blip on their radar.
Cathy said it had been years since she has worn a swimsuit, but she was starting to consider getting one. “I found a company that caters to full-figured women, and, I’m interested.” She sorta shrugged, like it was feeling more and more right.
I was curious if she had a specific outing in mind, but no, she just wanted to reclaim the fun of summer sun, sand, and water. And the best way to do that was in a swimsuit.
“I came to realize that I’m not attracted to people because of how they look,” said Cathy, “but by how they act. If they are relaxed and having a great time, who cares if they aren’t a specific size or shape? I want to be with happy people.”
Cathy is 100% right. Confidant people are like human catnip.
I need to get over my insecurities, toss off the robes, and get on with happiness.
Soon. Really soon.
No I no longer have my 40 year old body. The one that could compete at the top of my challenge. But I still have my health.
No I no longer have my 50 year old body. The one that could work 50 or 60 hour weeks. But I still have my health.
No I no longer have my 60 year old body the one that could get up off the ground with no struggle but I still have good health.
Now in my 70’s like most I have a pot belly, cellulite and arm wings but I still have good health.
I show it off with pride. This old body still gives me so much entertainment dancing and such, I love every extra pound. Bring on the heat, bring on the sun and bring on the pool I am ready to tan.
Beautifully written, Diane. I defy anyone to be around you and not feel love, energy, and happiness. You are so special. Thank you for sharing!