• Cart
  • Checkout
  • My Account
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • LinkedIn
    • Twitter

Aging Schmaging

Women's Issues Midlife And Beyond

  • Aging Schmaging
  • Home
  • Shop
    • Art
    • Cards
    • Photography
    • Scarves
  • Playshops
  • Blog
  • Portfolio
  • About
  • Contact
Midlife Masks
You are here: Home / Musings About Aging / Midlife Masks: Are You Wearing Other People’s Faces?

Midlife Masks: Are You Wearing Other People’s Faces?

February 3, 2016 By Gail Leave a Comment

Lynne Klippel’s question was direct. “How have wearing other people’s faces served you?” In my introverted, I-don’t-like-sharing-my-inner-feelings way, I froze for a second. I know I do put on masks, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to dissect the reasons. Particularly midlife masks. Sometimes mucking about in my inner-workings, my subconscious, is like realizing I’ve been living a hoarder’s lifestyle. There are stacks of “stuff” I’ve amassed over a lifetime. Stuff I intend to deal with…later. Much, much, later. Maybe.

Eventually, because I deeply adore and trust Lynne Klippel, my writing coach, I jotted down the following—

masksWhen confronted with uncomfortable situations I will often assume a face that I believe reflects the person I think I should be and not the true, probably scared, girl within.

As I stared at the inky words on paper, it occurred to me that I’m still hiding my voice/face. No matter how many times I listen to the beauty and wisdom of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, how many times I resolve to speak my truth, how many times I believe I’m being honest, I still panic and reach for a social mask when I’m feeling anxious.

Washing DishesJust this past weekend my daughter and I discussed the difficulty of shedding constructs placed upon us in the formative years. I was raised to be seen but seldom heard. My brothers, touted as the smart ones,held sway in discussions. Mom somehow knew their IQ scores and wielded them as validation of her superior intellect. When I asked what my IQ score was, she just raised an eyebrow, shook her head, and told me to wash the dishes. That sort of dismissal leaves a mark when repeated in a myriad of subtle, and not-so-subtle, ways. Confidence? What confidence?

And so, when asked a question such as, “How has wearing other people’s faces served you?” I feel that moment of fear. That yucky moment of being outed, of being once again, “the other.” It frustrates me that I am in midlife and still questioning my worth.

How about you? When do you wear a social mask, and how does it serve you? Do you feel you are in a time and place where your true self shines far brighter than cultural dictates? Please leave a comment and let me know. We can learn so much from each other.

Here is the poem, Now I Become Myself, by May Sarton that prompted the question about masks.  (Thanks, Lynne!):

 

Now I Become Myself– May Sarton

Now I become myself. It’s taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
“Hurry, you will be dead before–”
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song;
Made so and rooted so by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

 

Free Scarf Giveaway

«
»

Filed Under: Musings About Aging Tagged With: finding our voice, Midlife masks, social constructs

Avatar photo

A Message From Gail

Through my blog and website, I hope to share beauty, laughter, inspiration, aging & midlife lessons and advice on dealing with menopause. I will also devote time to integrative health and healing tips and news. I want feedback and questions because, while we may be sharing the journey, every woman has her own experience and her own story.

Get Our FREE 
Coloring Book!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Download
Our FREE
Coloring Book!

Get Updates – Signup

Once a month one lucky winner from the sign up pool will receive a scarf courtesy of Aging Schmaging. Good luck!

Categories

  • Giveaways
  • Menopause
  • Midlife Sex
  • Musings About Aging
  • Recipes
  • Remembering
  • Sharing
  • The Best Part Of My Day

Recent Posts

  • Past, Present, and Future: What I am Learning as My Husband Recovers from A Stroke By Gail Gates
  • In One Stroke, My World Changed
  • Christmas Fingerprints On The Surface Of My Heart
  • Tears Water A Memorial Garden
  • Crap Wildlife Photography: How I received 1800 “Likes” From A Fugly Photo

Navigate My Site

  • Almost Done!
  • Free Coloring Book
  • Menopause And Women In Midlife Blog
  • Playshops
  • Privacy Policy
  • Return Policy
  • Shop
  • Silk Scarves Playshops Registration
  • Sitemap
  • Success!
  • Testimonials
  • About
  • Contact

Recent Posts

  • Past, Present, and Future: What I am Learning as My Husband Recovers from A Stroke By Gail Gates
  • In One Stroke, My World Changed
  • Christmas Fingerprints On The Surface Of My Heart
  • Tears Water A Memorial Garden
  • Crap Wildlife Photography: How I received 1800 “Likes” From A Fugly Photo

Connect With Me

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Featured From the Shop

  • habitoi silk scarf Habatoi Hand Painted Silk Scarf 101 $35.00
  • grand marais summer solstice Grand Marais Solstice $10.00 – $45.00

Copyright © 2023 · Gail Theme On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Cleantalk Pixel