An acquaintance of mineâ€“I wonâ€™t mention your name Mattâ€“suggested I write a piece about midlife sex and kegel exercises.Â I suspect his young-man brain explodes when he thinks about creaky women in midlife actually wanting sex, let alone performing wanton acts in the bedroom or anywhere else the notion leads (A Midlife Woman’sÂ Trip To A Sex Shop).Â While Iâ€™m not a kegel expert, I thought anything I can learn about the subject would be to my advantage, and hopefully to yours as well.
First things firstâ€¦what are kegel exercises, why should you care, and do they come in a brown unlabeled box that the neighbors will eye with suspicion?
Kegel Exercises? Who Invented Them?
I thought there would be oodles of online information about Dr. Kegel, the person who developed kegel exercises, but not so much.Â I did find this article at Intimina.com.
Briefly, from the text, hereâ€™s his storyâ€¦
Dr. Arnold Kegel (1894-1981) was an American gynecologist who noted that womenâ€™s pelvic floor muscles were weakened by childbirth. The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that act like a hammock, extending from the front of the pelvis to the coccyx.Â Theyâ€™re responsible for supporting the bladder, bowel, and uterus. When these muscles are weakened, women may experience urinary incontinence (urine leaks – Don’t Pee On My Sofa), loss of sensation in the vagina, and even vaginal prolapse, when the pelvic organs can bulge into the vaginal canal.
I just want to insert one word at this point. Â Yikes!Â Bladders, bowels, and bulging.Â Nice alliteration, but geez.Â Didnâ€™t I start by talking about sex?Â Those words are definitely not sexy.Â Where was I?Â Oh yeah.
The story goes on to sayâ€¦
After 18 years of research, he published â€˜A Nonsurgical Method of Increasing the Tone of Sphincters and their Supporting Structuresâ€™ in 1942. (Iâ€™m sure the paper tightly squeezed in as many findings as possible.) The paper noted that diligent patients usually begin to notice symptomatic relief from urinary incontinence after 2 to 4 weeks of resistive exercises.
Interesting.Â Thatâ€™s a pretty quick result.Â But what exactly are Kegel exercises and how often do you have to do them?Â To find out I went to the Mayo Clinic website and read this article.
How To Do Kegel Exercises
To get started:
- Find the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles. Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles you can do the exercises in any position, although you might find it easiest to do them lying down at first.
- Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.
- Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
- Repeat three times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.
Don’t make a habit of using Kegel exercises to start and stop your urine stream. Doing Kegel exercises while emptying your bladder can actually lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder â€” which increases the risk of a urinary tract infection.
Boring, but informational.Â Tell me again about the payoff?Â You know, the stuff about hot midlife sex? (I might remind you that at no point did I say anything about hot midlife sex.Â However, if you do your Kegels and put on that French maid outfit you keep in the back of your closet the odds greatly increase that something good will happen. Iâ€™m sure you can get creative with that feather duster.Â Just saying.)
Kegels And Better Sex (Why You Should Care)
A story in womenshealthmag.com by Whitney C. Harris had this to say:
These simple, unobtrusive exercises (Kegels) will strengthen and tone your vaginal muscles, which boosts your arousal both before and during sex, says Morse. The result? Many who practice Kegels are able to climax in positions where they couldn’t before, and some report being able to achieve multiple orgasms. Regularly exercising your vag will also help you with more intense contractions during orgasm due to more blood being sent to your pelvic region.
Your partner will benefit, too: Kegels will help you get a better grip during intercourse so you can really hold tight onto your partner’s penis.
RELATED: How to Have a Full-Body Orgasm
Need help remembering to work out your lady bit? Morseâ€™s Kegel Camp app sends a daily reminder to make it a regular habit. And if you want to take your pelvic wall strength to a whole new level, try weighted kegel balls from brands like LELOÂ and Apex.
Happy, now?Â No? You want to know more about those devices like weighted kegel balls?
Things That Come In Brown Unlabeled Boxes
That Make Your Neighbors Suspicious And You Smile Mysteriously
Well, there are weighted kegel balls like these at the Smitten Kitten:Â Mischief Steel Kegel Balls.
Or, there is the page on the Good Vibrations site listed as Kegel Balls and Toys for PC muscles.
allParenting has a page with additional gadgets for kegels: Toys That Help You Do Your Kegels.
And, if you want to go techie in your Kegels, there was this 2014 post at nydaily news.com: New Wearable Technology Tracks Your Kegel Exercises.
Hereâ€™s an excerpt:
The kGoal resembles any clitoral-vaginal double-pronged sex toy, although instead of delivering sensations to the user, its sensors assess the users’ efforts, sending data to a smartphone app that analyses the pressure applied and tracks workout frequency and duration.
According to designer Grace Lee, the device is supple enough to conform to a variety of anatomies.
The wide member is inserted into the vagina, and the smaller arm rests against the exterior pubic area to stabilize the device, which does not vibrate and is not intended for use as a sex toy.
The app communicates wirelessly with the device and suggests entire workouts based on the user’s history.
I found it on Amazon for about $150 and the ratings looked mostly stellar: Minna kGoal Smart Pelvic Exerciser.
So there you have it. Â A quick sampler of Kegel stuff that probably went far afield of sex, sexy, and sexual.Â Now, back to that French maid outfitâ€¦