• Cart
  • Checkout
  • My Account
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • LinkedIn
    • Twitter

Aging Schmaging

Women's Issues Midlife And Beyond

  • Aging Schmaging
  • Home
  • Shop
    • Art
    • Cards
    • Photography
    • Scarves
  • Playshops
  • Blog
  • Portfolio
  • About
  • Contact
You are here: Home / Musings About Aging / Dying to know…

Dying to know…

October 26, 2011 By Gail Leave a Comment

“I can’t imagine anyone filling your shoes or bed,” I say to my husband. We stare hard into each other’s eyes and see only love. He nods, but I’m never quite sure of his response, or, non-response. It is a discussion we’ve had many times…what would we do if one of us were to die? Would we remain single in our grief, or would we attempt to find love again? How can we know?
A good friend of ours passed away almost a year ago from cancer. She and her husband were a delightful couple to be around and always seemed comfortably, compatibly, in love. I don’t know how many years they had been married, but I’m guessing over forty. Since her death, her husband has started dating again. It took a moment for us to absorb the news because it seemed so odd—and almost painful—to attach another name, another face, with his.
My husband recently spent an afternoon with him and the discussion eventually came around to his romantic life. Our friend said he had had a long talk with his adult sons to make sure they were okay with him dating. To his relief they were extremely supportive and understanding. I asked my husband if he thought our friend would have curtailed dating if his sons had not been approving. “Of course not!” was the response. “We’re not meant to be alone.”
I think that is true to an extent. In my mind the bigger, more important, reason for being with someone is how we feel when we are with them. Do we make each other better, more alive, and empowered? I wouldn’t choose to be with someone just to avoid being alone, would I? Maybe, if a person has spent decades in a partnership based on love, it is harder than I think to face the emptiness of one plate on the table, one towel on the rack, one lonely toothbrush leaning in the glass. Maybe the silence becomes so loud it is unbearable.
That brings me back to where I started. I’m not sure how I’d feel if I knew my husband would quickly look for love again should I die first. How do I resolve the desire for him to be happy—always—with the mental visual of another woman holding his hand, touching his cheek, hearing his heart beat with passion? How can I be jealous of the unknown? Note to self: review the whole “until death to we part thing,” and live 100% in the delicious moments we have now.

«
»

Filed Under: Musings About Aging

Avatar photo

A Message From Gail

Through my blog and website, I hope to share beauty, laughter, inspiration, aging & midlife lessons and advice on dealing with menopause. I will also devote time to integrative health and healing tips and news. I want feedback and questions because, while we may be sharing the journey, every woman has her own experience and her own story.

Get Our FREE 
Coloring Book!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Download
Our FREE
Coloring Book!

Get Updates – Signup

Once a month one lucky winner from the sign up pool will receive a scarf courtesy of Aging Schmaging. Good luck!

Categories

  • Giveaways
  • Menopause
  • Midlife Sex
  • Musings About Aging
  • Recipes
  • Remembering
  • Sharing
  • The Best Part Of My Day

Recent Posts

  • Past, Present, and Future: What I am Learning as My Husband Recovers from A Stroke By Gail Gates
  • In One Stroke, My World Changed
  • Christmas Fingerprints On The Surface Of My Heart
  • Tears Water A Memorial Garden
  • Crap Wildlife Photography: How I received 1800 “Likes” From A Fugly Photo

Navigate My Site

  • Almost Done!
  • Free Coloring Book
  • Menopause And Women In Midlife Blog
  • Playshops
  • Privacy Policy
  • Return Policy
  • Shop
  • Silk Scarves Playshops Registration
  • Sitemap
  • Success!
  • Testimonials
  • About
  • Contact

Recent Posts

  • Past, Present, and Future: What I am Learning as My Husband Recovers from A Stroke By Gail Gates
  • In One Stroke, My World Changed
  • Christmas Fingerprints On The Surface Of My Heart
  • Tears Water A Memorial Garden
  • Crap Wildlife Photography: How I received 1800 “Likes” From A Fugly Photo

Connect With Me

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Featured From the Shop

  • habitoi silk scarf Habatoi Hand Painted Silk Scarf 101 $35.00
  • grand marais summer solstice Grand Marais Solstice $10.00 – $45.00

Copyright © 2023 · Gail Theme On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Cleantalk Pixel