Yesterday on Houda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford’s hour of the Today Show, they encouraged women to wear badges declaring either their age or weight. The theme: numbers are not who we are, so why do they hold power over us? Houda mentioned that when she was in sixth grade she weighed 101 pounds and it was traumatic. She felt good, but there was something about crossing the 100 pound scale line that marked you for ridicule. I could identify.
I’ve always been a curvy girl, and have been verbally hurt many times as a result. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t want to relive the pain, but let’s just say those who were supposed to love me most did the cruelest judging. It didn’t seem to matter that I was physically strong, active, and healthy. At my age I was supposed to be XXX weight—the charts said so. Even now I recall the dread of walking in the front of the elementary classroom, stepping on the scale, and having the weight called off by the teacher. Ug. It’s no wonder we carry our traumas into adulthood.
I believe Houda and Kathie Lee had their hearts in the right place. They are trying to explore our fears and hang-ups as women. Aging women in particular. I’m all for it. However, for me, declaring their numbers on national television in an attempt to gain power over them echoed my childhood too closely. “World, Houda weighs…”
Maybe it’s a mental stepping stone to healthier self-esteem, but it’s not one I’m ready to embrace. I don’t weigh myself at home, ever. I go by how I feel, and how my clothes fit. It’s my way of ignoring numbers and cultural bullies.
This reminds me of a Glee episode from last season. On the show (about a high school glee club), they did a group song wearing shirts proclaiming their insecurities, ranging from homosexuality to body issues to not being able to dance. I liked the episode because it made me think about what I held onto as shameful about myself. Shame is something that everyone experiences, and by embracing it in whatever way makes you most comfortable, you can have authentic and whole life. I’m working on the embracing part, but I’m getting there!
As I get older, and a smidge smarter, I have come to appreciate the power of shame in our culture. How many times have we heard, “Shame on you!” when gowing up? It becomes part of the cycle of doubt and fear early, and haunts us as we mature. A friend of mine wrote her thesis on this subject. The book is called “Shame: Spiritual Suicide” by Vicki Underland-Rosow, Ph.D. I would highly recommend seeking it out at your local library or on Amazon.
Thank you for the response. I truly believe we learn best from each other!
🙂 Gail
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Oh boy…a technical question. I’ll forward your question to my web designer Lauren. I know I use “Hostway” but if there is more to your question Lauren would give a better answer. Thanks for visiting!
🙂 Gail